Believing as necessity to possibility
Enjoying this moment of quiet to hear the vibration of what's happening around me and to acknowledge the 'beautiful mess' that is continuing to unfold.
I'm so overcome by this feeling of belief. Belief in the people around me - that they are pursuing big dreams and real truth. So many of my peers confidently going forth with their ideas and challenging their need for control - practicing trust. That is some real shit art-making right there! I can't help but feel a sense of urgency and excitement because believing in them and their goals has encouraged an unashamed belief in myself - that even though some aspects of life could always be 'better', I really wouldn't trade what I'm experiencing right now for anything different, easier or more dazzling. Like everyone else I am trying, and simply putting forth that effort alongside motivated people makes me feel unstoppable. The work and the pursuit is exhausting, but so worth it, and none of that is ever done alone. We are making shit happen TOGETHER. We want to be apart of change. We want to pursue something greater than ourselves. We want honesty and hard work. We want to look inside ourselves and to see each other. We want to listen, offer help and ask for it too. I see it everywhere and I think it's beautiful.
Side thought: Imagine what we could do and what could become if we, as a culture, practiced love, healing and positivity everyday, all the time and MINDFULLY. I realize that’s the utopia, the ideal and perhaps a little unrealistic, but what a goal to aspire to am I right?! I try, and I am most definitely not always successful…but I try. And rather than view these characteristics as something to be ashamed of, how can we celebrate them and strive for them? Perhaps then we’d know what it feels like to be kinder to ourselves - to move through life with a little less self-judgement and cruelty.
I thought of that because of how strongly I feel it and see it in this moment. I see this group strength, built by determined, kind-hearted and inspiring individuals. I see this incredible thing happening - what people do and how they give when they are also kind to themselves. This may get ‘meta’ but I want to be clear about this thought… I’m referring to the equal balance of self-advocacy and support of our peers as well as (or in union with) a wholly integrated personal practice. An ecosystem of affirmative energy. A cycle. Taking our glass of water and pouring portions of it into other glasses and allowing others to pour back into ours. And when others cannot provide us with the water we need then we create our own well that we can return to and gather from. Essentially, no glass is ever left empty, not even our own.
So with that said, I return to my thought about belief. We need to believe in us. We have no choice. It's the responsibility we have to ourselves and to each other, because we will continue to rise together when we hold each other accountable to that and to both the language and action that support that. Not degrading ourselves with commentary on how we aren't what we were, what we could be or how we simply don’t feel like we’re enough. The last thing we need is to reinforce self-doubt and shame. I've spent too many hours silently judging myself and I don't think I'm alone in that. It's like literally asking myself to be punched in the gut...by my own fist. Let's start accepting compliments, let's acknowledge the truth and the challenges - that things are hard - and then welcome them in awe of the potential and possibility. Let’s be resourceful - let’s fill each other’s glasses and dig our own wells. Let's catch each other when we use fixed language like "Im not" or "I can't" and let's encourage a mindset of growth instead. A mindset of self and altruistic confidence. A mindset of belief.